7 questions about Stitt’s new substitute teacher recruitment website

Finally, Oklahoma has a plan to help schools navigate the goddang global pandemic!

On Tuesday, a couple of hours after the leaders of Integris, Mercy, St. Anthony, and OU Health held a press conference to discuss the lack of ICU beds and staffing shortages many Oklahoma hospitals are facing, Stitt announced the launch of a brand-new substitute teacher recruitment website: okguesteducator.com.

In what appears to be a collaboration between the government and the State Chamber of Oklahoma, the site encourages local businesses to “step up” and help the economy serve Oklahoma schools by asking their own employees to volunteer as substitutes. No word of if the domain name for okguestmedicalprofessional.com has also been purchased.

I took a look at the site a naturally had some questions. Here are 8 of them:

What kid loves to hear about business and jobs?

As seen in this screenshot from the website, the Stitt administration seems to think a big selling point in recruiting business people to sub is in classrooms is the networking opportunity. Unless you are a zookeeper bringing a show-and-tell critter to a kindergarten class, good frickin luck intriguing kids with stories from your last real estate acquisition or the fluctuating price of oil.

Can state employees access the site?

I guess not.

What businesses are actually giving their employees extra PTO to substitute?

Unless you are the villain in a 1980s teen movie who has a sudden change of heart due to the protests of the 35-year-old actors portraying teenagers and decides not to destroy the forest or drill for oil in the owl habitat, business owners rarely do things out of the kindness of their hearts and at the expense of their finances. I want to know A) What businesses are actually giving extra PTO to employees who substitute and B) Is TLO one of them?

Are Oklahoma students really being prioritized here?

As seen above, the website reports that the “problem” is that school closures affect GDP and students’ long-term “earning power,” which I am 100% certain is not a typo and because there is no way this initiative is prioritizing students’ “learning power.” Not to mention when it comes to word counts on this site, “student” is mentioned twice, while some form of “business” is written 10 times.

Is Doug Benson substituting this class?

It looks like Doug Benson is teaching in this photo on the okguesteducator.com website. The people need to know who is being trusted with molding the minds of the future. TBH Doug Benson would probably be a better substitute than my middle school vice principal who showed us band kids Billy Madison on the wheeled television anytime the director was out sick.

Does the Stitt administration not know how long an OSBI background check takes?

If he were really interested in helping schools as soon as possible, you’d think he’d be brainstorming options that didn’t include a 3-6 week wait. Speaking of requirements…

Does the Stitt administration think Oklahoma teachers are just babysitters?

Most Oklahoma teachers have at least a 4-year college degree that required courses in learning theory, classroom management, and various school subjects. Thinking a David Stanley car salesmen or midlevel banking manager could teach a classroom of children, let alone manage a class of 8th graders without a mutiny or the substitute crying, is like expecting a businessman to understand how to lead a state government during a goddang global pandemic.

Put me in, coach. I’m ready to teach critical race theory and the history of the CIA in South America. Follow Hayley on Twitter @squirrellygeek and become a contributing member of TLO here.

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18 Responses


  1. Stitt’s contempt for public education has never been clearer. He is showing clearly his belief that schools are little more than glorified day care, provided by the State so that parents can get out there and contribute to the State’s economy by working at their low-wage jobs generating income for their wealthy employers.

    Oh, and schools might also contribute to the State’s long term economic well-being – if the kids happen to learn something useful while being baby-sat by unqualified drones who will turn the kids on to getting future jobs in retail or at a call center.

    Because education is all about money, present and future. LIFE ITSELF is all about money, don’t ya know!

    There is a real difference, too often unappreciated, between education and vocational training. Stitt himself may have learned during his attendance at various schools how to be a skilled (if shady) merchant of subprime loans, but his education was sadly neglected. His governance of our State is the work of an ignorant man.


    1. no one in the state making over 100k care what teachers make, and if their spouse is a teacher its not for the money. For years teachers have had to work 2 jobs. However, this is only supposed to last 3 months so don’t make too big of a deal about it. I will not volunteer because 2 days a week would make $8600 before taxes and I can get $18.50 an hour and a workout at hobby lobby warehouse. I do want children to learn but do it virtual that is the future.


  2. Hi, kids. I’m Lord Skiffington V, and I’ll be your substitute teacher today.

    You can call me Lord, or Skiff, or V (the Roman nvmeral 5) or Your Highness. The latter is probably most accurate.

    Now, then: how is it that I, an un-edumacated, non-college degree havin’ chucklehead, is your substitute teacher today? This leads us into what used to be called “Civics” which has nothing to do with Honda automobiles. It’s about how government works, or, in this case, DOESN’T WORK. Because if Oklahoma State government worked, all your teachers would have Master’s degrees at a minimum and would have graduated in the top 10% of their class at university at a minimum and be paid a minimum starting wage of $70,000 because a proper salary helps buy quality employees! Think of the children—that is to say, YOU. Everyone in this state would be adequately educated about, and protected from, a virus virulent enough that NOT CATCHING IT would MAKE MY PRESENCE UNNECESSARY.

    Instead, we live in Oklahoma and most of your teachers can’t even spell “virulent,” much less know what the fuck it even means. Many of them think masks and vaccinations are “of Satan.” Many of them have voted for the same shithead Slingblade-resemblin’ asshole who “leads” this state and have approved me, of all people, to teach you stuff. Others are quite dedicated to teaching, but have decided to do it in places where teachers are respected and paid adequately, and don’t have to listen to hillbilly governors who don’t know their asses from what comes OUT OF their asses.

    That’s why I’m here, that’s why Oklahoma is in the toilet, and now my speech is finished.

    Who has some weed? Pass it around. Me first.

    Don’t take notes, there won’t be a quiz later.


  3. $70K!? You must be one of those “children are our future” wackos.


    1. Well, you have my wacko status right…but “children are our future?”

      More like “the children of today will lead the dystopia of tomorrow.”

      Keep in mind Stitt was a child once…and the upbringin’ and “education” he got back then have come home to roost.

      YEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAW!!!! I have spoken.


  4. Thank you so very much for this article. If you think my rambling comments sound insane, check out ShaneDavidJett on twitter, and his his bill to literally turn Oklahoma children into soulless, psychopathic, cutthroats. If you want a slow burn decent into the madness what these people collectively think children are for: pawns in the business game and future human chattel to feast off of, in between insane ramblings about religion and “marxism”, check him out. Never before, at least not in my lifetime, have I seen such a rise in corporatist fascism. They are literally coming for your children.


  5. Following those two comments makes me feel like the Coach who came in behind Barry Switzer but I had this dream that centered around a WW1 theme of trench warfare and Captain Stitt had just ordered the 1st wave out of the trenches towards the German machine guns. All were quickly and effectively mowed down. Turning to the second wave of soldiers/State employees the red faced Captain Stitt screamed charge!
    As he prepared to climb out of the trench the young man turned to Captain Stitt and ask: Captain couldn’t we just wait a week? I haven’t had my COVID vaccine. I don’t know what’s in it, besides, none of have a gun. “I hadn’t thought of that” declared the dumbfounded Captain Stitt. You’re right, let’s go to Vegas.
    No, screamed the Captain, after a brief but intense moment of religious contemplation, I’m just shitting you, I’ll go to Vegas and you get your ass over that trench and charge!


  6. I can’t help but laugh and cry at the same time. I think the whole thing will work!!!! It will work to let those new subs see exactly the hell the teachers go through on a daily basis and start screaming at their legislators to do something to help. They are going to be in for a rude awakening when those 2nd graders start calling them names and making them cry.


    1. This assumes that the Stittheads who take the Guv’s directive to go and babysit a class or two would take their real-world classroom experience to heart and gain an appreciation of what teachers do on a daily basis. This might happen in a few cases, but I doubt that anything would awaken the Guv’s minions from their deep-down contempt for public education.


  7. Our local yahoo/school board meeting disrupter proudly bragged on social media on his substitute teacher application. Right below his posts about CRT, No Trans in Mah Kids’ Bathrooms, and anti-mask/vax craziness. I weep for the children.


  8. Leave it to Bulls*itt to go and do something foolish, then leave the state… AGAIN.


  9. Okay kids, open your bibles to Exodus. This whole “leaving” part will be essential to get the Heck out of Oklahoma. Pharaoh Stitt ain’t gonna let us go voluntarily if he hopes to keep all the minimum wage jobs filled.


  10. Stitt’s touting this biz sub plan as “thinking outside the box” like it’s some kind of creative solution to a complex problem. Well, ya know what thinking INSIDE the box would have meant? Promoting the benefits of wearing masks and getting vaccinations, two simple, proven procedures, both of which he chose to ignore.


  11. Using State employees to help relieve the stress on teachers is an excellent idea! Even better, all elected officials, from dog catcher to Governor should be required to substitute for our overworked doctors and nurses.


  12. A subbin’ Frank Keating could have a blast distributing Dilantin to students.


  13. so the idea is to send in state employees, have them get sick with COVID also? Why on earth would anyone want to dip their selves into petri dish right now!
    A better fix would be to try and improve distant learning or how about making sure we all get the vacine!


  14. Hello, class. You can call me Mr. Joe. I’m here because Gov. Stitt ain’t done shit about the Trump flu, it’s warm in here, and the school is paying me cash money. Before we discuss contraception, abortion, and women’s reproductive rights, let’s start class with a prayer unto Allah.


  15. …because it takes a village to raise a child.

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