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Naked Man Attempts To Sexually Assault Dog…

The guy pictured above is Brayden Phillips.

Last Friday night in the Big Town, the former defensive end for the Blanchard Lions ended up naked and out of his mind in a neighborhood near 30th and N. Classen and – allegedly – tried to force a dog to perform a sex act.

Fortunately, the dog's owners were outside, witnessed the attack, and were able to stop the assault. Here are details via KFOR:

An Oklahoma man is facing several charges following a bizarre incident in Oklahoma City...

When officers arrived at the scene, they found 19-year-old Brayden Phillips naked on the front porch of a home.

Witnesses told police that they were sitting outside their home when Phillips walked up to the home and assaulted the family’s dog.

They told officers that Phillips grabbed their dog’s face and tried to pry its mouth open around his genitals.

When Phillips was told to leave, he allegedly swung at one of the victims, who took him to the ground and held him until police arrived.

Well, that's pretty sick and disturbing.

I, admittedly, don't know a thing about bestiality, but based on how my dog Simon will try to bite off my hand when I give him a Dingo chewstick, I'd say that putting your genitals in a dog's mouth is a risky and losing proposition.

I guess Phillips' girlfriend was also at the scene. She claims he was under the influence of mushrooms:

The affidavit states that Phillips’ behavior was erratic, and his girlfriend said he was under the influence of mushrooms.

Phillips was arrested on three complaints of lewd or indecent proposals or acts to a child, assault and battery, public intoxication, cruelty to animals, and two counts of public indecency.

First of all, what a brave and loyal girlfriend! Most girls I know would probably dump a guy immediately after they witnessed him take off his clothes, run naked through a neighborhood, and attempt to cheat on them with a dog, but I guess she stood by him. I can't wait to see both of them on an episode of Dr. Phil later this year.

Second, are they really trying to blame this psychotic episode on psychedelic mushrooms? Not to go full Bill Hicks here, but that's a weak excuse and ruins the positive aspects of psychedelic drug use for the rest of us. Seriously, I know lots and lots and lots of people who enjoy magic mushrooms, and not once have they ever run naked through the streets and tried to get it on with a dog. They usually just giggle at nothing and stare into the ceiling like they're Dr. Bowman flying a spaceship into a monolith.

Anyway, our thoughts go out to the dog in this situation and the brave hero who stopped the attack. Also, here's hoping Brandon Phillips gets treatment, therapy and life figured out.

Stay with The Lost Ogle. We'll keep you advised.

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