About three or so years ago, my body was in a somnambulistic ritual following a hemorrhagic stroke, maintaining a close-enough comatose state of near-sleep. Fearing the reaper, a hospital bed became my slumber-filled fort.

Short story long – I was spectrally visited by an Indigenous Man, standing near my bed, motioning to come closer as artificial veins were bound to my skin, slagging medical equipment to my body. As the room became a densely wooded area, the Man went through the invisible forest, urging me to rip the maintaining needles stuck in my body to go with him.

But I was stopped, like a cosmic reset button that pushed me into the fabric of reality. Or something like that.

As I came back to Earth, the vision I had was submerged into another reality – the staff of omniscient doctors and well-trained nurses bringing me back from the void. As I metaphorically kicked and screamed, hoping that I would see him again, my time with the Man grew farther and farther apart, and I began to second-guess myself and the vision.

But, like clockwork, six months ago, I had another stroke. A big stroke.

Even worse, this stroke has taken most of my wellbeing, or what’s left (theft?) of it.

There was no angelic force or visitor this time, only darkness and loneliness. I was living in a well-to-do casket of my own choosing, trying for a new near-death experience in my wake. For months, I had no speaking voice, no reading capability, and no movement on my right side. Even though I tried to soilder on, a part of my damaged psyche had given up. It was too much to bear, at times.

But I kept on fighting the good-ish fight, especially knowing that you, the tried-and-true Lost Ogle family, were there to support and encourage me at every painful new step. It made me somewhat stronger. So, I made the decision to rebuild. Again.

Maybe that’s why I didn’t take that hand from the vision of the Indigenous Man the first time around…maybe I had to wander and learn a new path through this beautiful, enrapturing, maddening world.

But, to be fair, if this shit happens one more time, I hope he returns, offers his hand, and guides me through the forest, taking me to places I’ve never been. Basically, I give up.

Follow Louis on Twitter at @LouisFowler and Instagram at @louisfowler78

Support Local Media

Help keep The Lost Ogle in business. Join the TLO Membership Club today for only $5 a month!

New Stuff

23 Responses

  1. Great to see your article!! We love ya!

  2. We miss you and love you, Louis.

  3. I have nothing profound to say, just welcome back.

  4. You’re a stronger person than I. Please be well.

  5. An extended stay at the hospital will be the most tragic thing that a person will ever experience. Been there – done that. I hate to even think about what I went through.
    But when I get depressed and unhappy about my everyday life, I do find myself doing a brief reflection on that hospital stay and it makes me think “Things could be so much worse.”
    And basically that’s how everything works – you can’t really appreciate the good
    times until you’ve gone through the bad times. Finally getting out of that hospital bed and being able to sit in a chair and have some breakfast was just wonderful in itself. It’s so easy to take the simple everyday things for granted.

    Anyway, I hope you manage to keep an optimistic attitude and look forward to what life has to offer. It can be hard to do, but I really believe that having a lust for life affects us physically and promotes the body to heal itself. Best wishes.

  6. We love you, man

  7. So happy to have you back, Louis.

  8. Glad you’re getting better. Your Indigenous Man of the afterlife is way better than mine. Mine just wanted me to drive and then refused to validate my parking when we got there. So I told him to fuck off and went back to my mediocre existence, free parking and all.

  9. This was so touching Louis. It sounds truly awful and I don’t if I could have coped. Thank you for sharing.

  10. I met you once and I remember thinking as I approached to shake your hand (metaphorically) that I’m meeting an Okc celebrity. You were gracious and kind. Thank you for being a voice of Oklahoma that resonates with all Okies…it’s good to see you writing again amigo!

  11. Best wishes.

  12. Glad you’re getting better and you’re able to write. In the words of Jimmy V: don’t give up. Don’t ever give up.

  13. Very happy to have you back. Godspeed fellow sleeper.

  14. Reading this is like finding the mirage in the desert. So very glad to see you putting words into the ether. Welcome back!!!!

  15. Super happy to read this !!! Never give up! Make some lifestyle Changes! I know I know it’s tough!!!! But…We want you around Louis !!! You rock !!

  16. Louis, I was planning to see if you were up to a trip to Tulsa to see the Reservation Dogs Season 2 Premier, but then I realized it already happened. Drat. They would have loved to have you there. Keep us posted about this season, please.

  17. Welcome back Louis.

  18. I’m so glad you didn’t see that man this time. We love you, Louis!!

  19. Great article! I’m so glad that you’re back, Louis.

  20. I’m so happy to see you writing again! Even happier that the Indigenous fellow didn’t have a bowl of pazole or grape dumplings to lure you away!

  21. I love you, Louis. You may occasionally kick yourself for coming back, but you’ve got a pretty fucking great cheer squad on this side, too. And much art and wisdom to share. ❤️

  22. Louis, I don’t know you except for what I’ve read on this site. I have not walked in your mocassins nor met the Indigenous Man, but I have been in the neighborhood. Peace and love to you.

  23. So happy to see your post, Louis. Hoping for your continued recovery. I can relate.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

We encourage engaging with our content, however we ask that you follow our Comment Policy. Learn more.

Join the Club.

Become a Member

Help keep The Lost Ogle in business. Join the TLO Membership Club today for only $5 a month!

You may also like...