Ogle Madness: Midwest Region, Upper Bracket
Time to move on to our final region of the first round of Ogle Madness XIII. This morning's upper bracket will be played out in Ponca City with a lot of big names, including three whole Ogles. This one is sure to be a barn-burner.
Here's who will be duking it out:
(1) Abigail Ogle vs (16) Epic Charter Schools
(8) OG&E vs (9) Hobby Lobby
(4) Kevin Stitt vs (13) Bella Coquette Vixen
(5) Ogle Brothers vs (12) Scissortail Park
(1) Abigail Ogle
Who: The Ogle Matriarch Who Shall Rule The World Someday
Biggest Strength: Can defeat any Twitter or Facebook troll with the ease of a Gary England quip
Biggest Weakness: She has to share a surname with this website
vs.
(16) Epic Charter Schools
Who: Scammy virtual charter school the syphons money away from legit public schools
Biggest Strength: Making millionaires out of the school's founders
Biggest Weakness: Educating students
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(8) OG&E
Who: Oklahoma's largest electric provider
Biggest Strength: They can charge what they like and fuck up constantly with no consequences
Biggest Weakness: Clearing trees from powerlines
vs.
(9) Hobby Lobby
Who: Ultra-conservative Christian craft chain store
Biggest Strength: Selling decorative wreaths, overpriced picture frames, and acrylic paint
Biggest Weakness: Treating employees humanely during COVID
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(4) Kevin Stitt
Who: The Governor of the Great State of Oklahoma
Biggest Strength: Skiing. Also, his irrational confidence obviously got him somewhere.
Biggest Weakness: Completely bungling a pandemic to 'open business up!' which resulted in death rates that were close to international records.
vs.
(13) Bella Coquette Vixen
Who: Modeling alias of former Norman Ward 7 city council candidate Monica Marsh
Biggest Strength: Normalizing sexy modeling. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being sexy for money.
Biggest Weakness: But she's also a Unite Norman creep that is dragging along the dead horse of the MAGA movement.
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(5) Ogle Brothers
Who: Kevin, Kent and Kelly
Biggest Strength: Great chins, just pure action movie chins, jumping out of helicopter chins.
Biggest Weakness: They won't let Patrick or the rest of us in on their golf club membership.
vs.
(12) Scissortail Park
Who: The massive new Downtown OKC paid for with our tax bucks.
Biggest Strength: It's a good place to ride your bike to and drink a tallboy on the top of the hill.
Biggest Weakness: Despite how much money was drained into it, it's still kinda ugly.
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Check back in this afternoon for the lower bracket!
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