Every now and then, I think it would be fun to run for Governor of Oklahoma.
It's not a serious thought, but it's a neat thing to think about.
Sure, I’d need to register as a Republican, convert to Evangelicalism, start a mortgage company, sell reverse mortgages to widows, get filthy rich doing it, and then get banned from banking in Georgia to have a chance to win, but it would all be worth it to feed my ego, get free On-Cue drinks and OHP parking decals for my family.
Plus, who wouldn't want to hook up their YPO friends with fat government contracts?
For me, the only drawback of the job would be having to to pretend to like country music. I don't know if I could boot-skootin' do it!
Fortunately, that’s not an issue at all for our current darn-tootin' Governor.
Kevin Stitt is a hardcore country music fan. We know this because he dressed up like a fancy cowboy and attended one of the Zach Bryan concerts in downtown Tulsa this past weekend.
In what can only be construed as an effort to appeal to News 9's Amanda Taylor, Oklahoma voters and all their bad music tastes, Stitt channeled his inner Mayor Holt and issued a proclamation declaring August 11th and 12th “Zach Bryan Hometown Weekend” and shared a pic of the two on social media.
That’s actually a pretty cool photo. Sure, if you didn’t know better, you’d think it’s a photo of a slick-talking cowboy selling a carnie a hot tub and/or heifer at the Oklahoma State Fair, but I still like it. I guess it has been a while since Stitt's pretended to be a cowboy!
Here's the proclamation:
As opposed to proclamations honoring state employees, that one was typo-free. You know, in case you need a reminder of what Stitt really values.
Naturally, critics on social media mocked Stitt for dressing up like Tall Paul while attending an “alternative" county music concert. They said rude and snide things like “All hat and no cattle” and "Protecting all the things you own like cars, and trucks, and mobile homes," but that’s only because they’re jealous.
Truth be told, they'd love to dress up like the Big Texan and meet an up-and-coming country music artist who looks like he just cooked a batch of meth inside a Love's bathroom.
Plus, these people have no clue that Kevin is a pro at playing dress-up. Check out the wide variety of costumes he's donned over the years...
Businessman...
Cop...
Surfer...
Swadley’s Customer...
Border Patrol Agent...
Ski Instructor...
And, of course, Cowboy...
Anyway, I hope Stitt had more fun at the Zach Bryan show than he did at the Taylor Swift concert in Dallas.
I'm going to get back to dreaming about being Governor, and meeting the guys from Chat Pile.
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